Interesting and Infuriating

I hear music, some fucking kid barking like a dog, people talking, fires crackling, some other kid screaming. I smell wood smoke, pot smoke, diesel fuel, and the leaves of a cool breeze. I see lights and fires and tiki torches and headlights and the moon and some reflective bulllshit from somewhere. I am amidst ultimate chaos and yet a most interesting display of the human condition. I am drinking so that I do not lose my mind, or my shit, amidst this outdoor, yet oh so urban, experience. Just one cocktail to take the edge off this insanity. Fuck me running this is not my experience. THIS is not what I signed up for. And yet… 

I chose this campground. I did this on purpose. I spent the extra money so that I would be able to bike and hike and not drive anywhere. This is all of my own doing. In fact, I even pimped out part of my site to some poor slob who did not plan well. I was at the right place at the right time and I nearly covered one night of camping. WTF ever. My gain and your lucky break. It covered my great lunch from a local farm stand. Though they never even came over to thank me in person. Not one word. Strange. 

Let’s start with my being here in the first place. I am here because I cannot stand, not for one fucking moment, the thought of being stuck at camp with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I wanted to park the Jeep and explore by foot or by bike and not drive. No days in the car. To that end, I am not disappointed. I hiked just over 9 miles today, mostly in solitude. I got in some biking miles upon arrival. I had a great lunch from a local food truck place and basically had a blast. I do not want to talk about the bugs. The spider that could traverse a tennis ball and the crawling bug that looks like a magic marker. Nope, we are not talking about those things. 

We are, however, talking about the peace and solitude of a jungle hike completely alone and time spent with only the sounds of the palm fronds blowing in the wind. Sure, there were snakes and spiders and crap I thankfully never saw. But, there was peace and solitude and just me and the trail. It was, however, a trail I was not familiar with. A trail with foliage I did not recognize and bugs I was not OK with, and so much more. Michelle, you are NOT in the PNW anymore!

Now I sit here at camp and still this fucking kid barks and the moon is nearly full and the music continues. Oh, did I tell you about the kid in the bathroom? So, here I am in the stall taking my glorious morning constitutional. This little kid, clearly without parental supervision, peeks his head under the stall and says, “I see you!”. I say back, “I prefer you didn’t”. Then I laugh. I mean, this kid does not know any better and so what, he sees me on the shitter. Soon after, his Mom comes in and does not even speak to what just happened. She gathers him up and then takes him away. Look, sister, at this point, it is best to just speak to what happened. I mean, he is just a kid  and I am just on the toilet. Get over it, yet at least apologize. Strange. 

Ends up, later, when some guy was looking for his kid who wandered off, me and this woman had a little chat whilst in the same bathroom and she knew the kid who poked his head under and talked to me. His Mom was beyond embarrassed. Well, WTF you gunna do? Just call the thing a thing and move along. I get it, I have a kid, I know what goes on. The little boy was 3 for crying out loud. But, please do not carry on like it never happened.

These people in Florida are different then my people to the West. At least in the West we talk about it. We make contact and say HELLO and come to a sense of being with each other. Nope. Not these folks. They carry on like they are the only people in the Universe and they never even bother to greet you or acknowledge your presence. They walk in your camp and play in your area and act like this is all OK. No recognition, no chat, no eye contact. Nothing. Fuck them. Fuck their ignoring the obvious. Good thing my RBF is still alive and well and they mostly steer clear of me and my things. Better that way. 

Gone are my days of peace and solitude. Gone are my times of quiet and the sounds of nature while at camp. Here are the times of trails and hikes and biking and, tomorrow, a rented kayak on the pond. I did enjoy sitting at camp with only the light of the moon. I listened and watched. The moon was so bright it left shadows on the roof of the tent. I enjoyed that. 

Dear God and the Universe, I will try to just roll with it and not be a bitch about the noise and the chaos and the bullshit in my midst. I will not, however, change my face. I will retain my RBF so, with just one glance, these idiots are reminded to stay the fuck away from my site and my belongings and my food and me. That is what I have to offer. 

Amen and Blessings all around. 

PS – the hordes of people have left. I am mostly alone at camp again. I had an amazing day of kayaking, sore muscles and all. I am tired and rested and happy to be here. Tonight I will have a fire to celebrate. Cheers to getting over the hump of humanity. Cheers!

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Elizabeth Peisner says:

    Now you know why I hated Florida. Something called heart is sorely lacking in that state.


  2. Neko says:

    Sorry for what sounds like a mostly miserable visit. Does it seem that most of the campers are Floridians? This time of year we are usually filled up with ‘Snowbirds’.


    1. Michelle says:

      I would not say miserable, as my out of camp experiences were great. Well, except for the gigantic bugs. These were locals who just get away for the weekend, which means they drink to excess and basically let their kids run wild. New to me is the not talking to your neighbors or at least being friendly to fellow campers. The kayaking and hiking were fine. Cheers!


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