So, here we are. Sequestered away in our homes, in our communities, and in our own little worlds. Many of us are out of work, displaced, confused, surprised when the rug was pulled out from under the feet of our lives. Some of us struggle, some are taking advantage, some refuse to comply, and others of us are making the best of whatever situation we find ourselves. The world continues in turmoil.
I, too, have been effected. I was asked to leave my volunteer stint in the mountains and cannot start my summer/fall job. I literally had less than 24 hours to leave. Thankfully, my support team offered many places to land and I chose the closest. I was panicked at first. I mean, I was comfortable and just getting the hang of my new gig and new area of the world. I had done some exploring, but was saving it so that I did not run out of things to see. Then, there was very little to see. Then, there was nothing to see. Then, I had to leave. We all had to leave. People from the neighboring town and people from other countries. We were thrust into chaos. Some were yelling, crying, upset, all were stressed. The people around me felt unsafe, unstable, insecure and vulnerable. So many emotions at lightening speed.
For about an hour I felt it. I felt threatened and vulnerable. I felt like I had no place to go and no way to get there. I felt panic. Then, I regrouped. Unlike prior times in my life, I stopped and took stock. I backed up from the scenario to explore my emotions and my situation. I realized that I had people and resources. Most importantly, I had faith. I fell back on my faith. I fell back on a phrase that rocks me to the core – THY WILL BE DONE. I stopped and realized there was not much I could do in this scenario. I realized that I was not in charge. This was not about me.
I spent time in my room praying. I lamented on that phrase and let it wash over me. I offered to stay at my volunteer job as long as they would have me, and they kept me as long as they could. I am grateful for their consideration. Yet, I continued to pray. I fell into my faith. I realized that I had people and I have resources (should I choose to expend them), I have an excellent vehicle and I have everything I need with me. I have food and back-up food. I have tools and clothes and the ability to cook and live, should the need arise. I knew I would be alright. THY WILL BE DONE. That is the phrase I buttressed against my self-sufficiency, my autonomy, my nomadic way of life. That was the phrase that brought me comfort and solace.
I was at a point where my plan, my situation, my very life was out of my control. THY WILL BE DONE. I lived here, with this phrase, with this belief, with this truth. I lived in my now. I mean, I had a plan for when I left this place and made my way to the next place. I basically took the first steps to what would have been my exit. I went to my sister’s house. Not for a visit and not for a defined period of time. I went to regroup. They opened the door and I walked through.
I was really, really sad to leave the mountains. I took note of that. I think I found my people, my community. I found that I was not the only Jeep or only top case or only person who lived nomadically. I was not the only volunteer or the only person active at my age. I found like-minded and like-lifestyle folks both in and around my community. I felt at home.
Now, I am sitting in a chair in a rented room in a city in Wisconsin. I am waiting for my temporary job to start. I am hoping that my seasonal job will actually start. I am a fish out of water. I am not in a place or situation that best suits me. I am also safe, warm, fed, dry, housed, clean and bathed. I have so many things that others do not have. THY WILL BE DONE. I can do what I can do, but must trust the process. I must trust my intuition that led me here, that called me to work. Walk the path that presented itself to me. I will trust and listen and keep my wits about me. I will put forth my intention and my wishes. I will fall into and onto my faith.
These are trying and turbulent times. I am in flux. I am also safe. I am fortunate when others are not. I am counting my blessings and staying true to my intention. I am listening.
THY WILL BE DONE.
Stay well, loved ones. Stay well and stay put.