Here we go again! I moved out of Washington. I am 100% in Texas. I have no tangible ties anywhere else. I am reunited with my “stuff”. I feel complete and more at peace. This part is DONE!
It took me months of planning, a couple thousand miles, days of driving, and weeks of preparation. It took nearly a dozen people, hundreds of dollars and hours and hours of my time. It was a huge investment. It feels good, though. It feels right. It has been emotional and challenging and exciting and tiring. This change is good.
I knew I had to do this. I had to bring myself, my things, this final part of my life together. It was like one door of my house was always open, that one noise in the background you cannot put your finger on. This last part was bugging me, gnawing at me, felt out of place. I needed peace. In time, peace I will have. Right now, I have a house full of boxes and things and stuff to donate and stuff to store. I have bags of clothes I no longer want or need, piles and piles of items to recycle. Right now, I am living in a mess.
This is a short term mess for a long term gain. I know much of this stuff will stay here when I leave. Many of these household items I have missed since I have been off the road and have cried out for while cooking. I have missed my kitchen! Such a difference having a blender or mixer or good bakeware can make. To me, anyway.
I find myself again knee deep in this process of sorting my stuff, prioritizing my life, and reliving years gone by. I find a letter or a photo or a tchotchke and I am catapulted to that year, that time, or those moments in my life. I am remembering who I have been and what I have done. I am reconnected with people I have known during my life. It is a huge time of lament, reflection, reliving.
I am doing some letting go, too, and with it comes some sadness. I am remembering my journey and how I got here. I have not always been the nicest or most welcoming person. I have lived through some pretty tough times and been thrown into some extraordinary situations with no or little knowledge, preparation or skills. I have made my share of mistakes and poor choices. I live with no regrets. Sure, I wish I would have done some things differently, but to regret? Well, that shit will just eat you up. I lived how I lived and did what I did. It is over now and I can only move on, live and learn. I can only strive to do better, be better, live a life set deeper in truth and authenticity.
I have taken the plunge into another drastic change. I have temporarily set up a home in Texas, imbedding myself deeper and deeper into this place and this community. I am reducing my physical presence in this world. I am prioritizing exactly what is the most important to me. I am again sorting and filtering and keeping and passing on. I am in flux.
I have brought all the loose ends of my life together. I am choosing what parts are worth retaining and what parts are worth passing on. Well, not really parts but pieces. Objects, things, clothes, gadgets, books, etc. Those things I once needed to fill up space are now being offered to the Universe and others. I no longer need things to feel complete. I feel better living smaller, having less, taking up less space. While there are some things that can make me happy, experiences are what makes my heart sing. Well, that and clean, soft sheets. I do love me some good sheets!
I am still sitting on a chaotic mess. I am still surrounded by too many things that have no purpose, that I no longer want. I have some sorting yet ahead. Moving forward, I have work yet to do.
It feels good, though, this closing of the last loop of my life. It feels good to prioritize and minimize. It feels good to once again discover who I am and what I am about.
I may be off the road. I may have temporarily settled in Texas. I may be setting up a home. But, I am still on an adventure. I am still a pilgrim in this life. I am still growing and learning. I am still on a journey.
Cheers to a life of discovery, change and growth.
Cheers to continued adventure!