Crabby Old Ladies in Cars? Bitchy Babes on Bikes? Voracious Vixens in Vans? Mavens with Moxie? Grumpy Grandmas? The Fabulous Fifty Somethings? Women of their Own World?
I am not sure what to call my new women’s group. This group will be for us shitheads, cynics, negative Nancy’s. Those of us who cannot, or refuse to, hold in our angst, freely and openly commenting on those things that offend or insult us, who generally do not bite our tongue. Those of us who know life is not always unicorns and rainbows and sometimes you have to work and struggle and fight like a MotherFucker to get what you want. All us women who have lived one or two lifetimes and have chosen to give the world a giant finger, the middle one that is, say FUCK IT and make that change. We have already gone to college, we have not lived with our parents for decades. If we do live with our parents, we are taking care of them. We have raised our kids, married and divorced or been widowed at least once. We have bought and sold houses, started and ended jobs. Perhaps we did the same with a business venture or company or career. We have gained and lost weight, earned all of our wrinkles, and some of us may even know the natural color of our hair. But now we have reached a turning point. We are at the pinnace of something different. We need to make a change. In fact, we are MAD AS HELL and are NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!
I am exaggerating a bit (or am I?), but you get the idea. We are not idealistic or naive. We lower our voice at the end of a sentence, LIKE or YOU KNOW are not a part of our routine grammar. We swear like a sailor and we tell it like it is no matter whose little feelings get hurt. Most of the time we are not intentionally cruel, unless you piss us off then our words will cut you down. We lived our lives as we have been told, as our unknowing Mother’s and Aunties taught us, as the societal expectations for women have shown us. We did what we thought was right, what we thought would make us happy, what we saw on TV or read about in books. We did what was generally expected of us. We drank the Kool Aid like we were supposed to. Burp.
Sure, we had happy times and moments of unabashed and blissful joy. We married a great love, we birthed a human or two, we hugged our friends, cherished our families, went jogging with the dog, curled up with the cat, joined clubs and participated in our communities. We got the degrees, the jobs, the houses, and we filled them with people and things and memories. We had family vacation and girls night and couples bowling and AA and NA. We are generally proud of our legacy, of our achievements, of our accomplishments. We went from Point A to Point B, or maybe F or even Z for that matter. We lived a life. Probably a mostly happy and satisfying life. Cool.
But, wait, let’s take another look, a closer look at that life. Let’s break that down even more. Whose life did we actually live? Whose goals did we meet? Whose accomplishments? Really? Perhaps you did live the life you wanted. Perhaps it was all of your own doing, of your own free and conscious will. Perhaps you have lived a life totally on your own terms, according to your own rules. Then this, dear sister, may not be the club for you. I do not think this group will be someplace for you to find sisterhood. God’s speed and may you and your blissfully independent and spunky cohort live happily ever after. Cheers!
This club is for those of us who woke the fuck up, looked in the mirror and wondered what the hell happened. Those of us who let time slip away while we were busy making everyone else happy. Now we ask, whose wrinkled face is that? Whose mop of white or grey hair, and when did that happen? Those of us who look deep in our own eyes, into our own soul, into our own heart and ask – IS THIS IT? IS THIS ALL THERE IS? We have lived these huge lives and, yet, are left unsatisfied, frustrated perhaps, maybe even laden with anger and discontent. We woke up only to find ourselves living in someone else’s skin.
Me and my group, well, we have had enough! We are taking that angst, that feeling of discontent and we are acting on it. Fuck my past, fuck who I was or have been or who you think I should be. Fuck it all! Welcome to ME! Welcome to the me I always wanted to be, the me I knew was there, the ME I knew I could be. This group is for us seasoned women who are making a radical change, who are taking that angst and discontent and putting it to good use. I doubt we are on some spiritual quest to a yoga retreat in India. I don’t think we will be traveling the country to raise awareness about anything, nor are we making videos or web sites or Instagram or Facebook posts about every step we take. Nope, not us bitches. We are just out there doing it!
We are starting that business we always dreamed of, taking that solo trip we were too scared to take, selling that house that never really worked for us, or buying the house that does. We are quitting our crappy jobs, selling our shit and hitting the road! We are breaking up with the piece of shit that is holding us back, or we are taking off with our greatest champion. It is time our kids went out of their way for us. We are making those radical changes, taking the steps to come into our own, living our life for US, this time. If you are not quite sure who that is and what she is about, no problem. You have time to figure it out. The rest of us will be here to listen, to give you copious amounts of shit, to goad you on, but also to love and support you on this journey. Sure, we talk all tough and stuff, but we got your back, sister. We are in this together, me and you and her and us and them. If it takes a village to raise a child, well, it takes a fucking army to raise a woman. Luckily, you have yours right here.
So, welcome to my little club. I am not sure what to call it yet, and I am open to ideas. I may not use them, but whatever. You have come to expect that. Now, get out there and be all you can be! We got this.